Let's All Hope Jack White Goes Bankrupt???

No, I jest. Please don't hope that Jack White goes bankrupt. That would be terrible. That is, unless you are completely devastated by the breakup of the White Stripes, and the only reason you carry on in the wake of the band's demise is the hope that some day -- say Coachella 2025 -- you might again stand in a field with fifteen thousand others and fist-pump along as Jack and Meg perform "Seven-Nation Army" together. In that case, go ahead, wish bankruptcy on the man. Because apparently that's the only way we're going to see a White Stripes reunion. Asked in an interview with NME what the chances are he and Meg might reunite someday, White replied "I would probably say absolutely not. Absolutely no chance. I couldn't see any reason to ever do that. I'm not the kind of person that would retire from baseball and come out of retirement the next year. I mean, if we went to all the trouble of telling people we're done, we meant it you know?" 

Okay, so it doesn't sound good at this point, I know. And every other music writer has fixated upon the "Absolutely no chance" part of White remarks. But I'm not every other music writer. So let's keep on reading White's statement, and pluck out that glimmer of hope: "If we were forced to change our mind about that, I can only imagine the reason being if we went bankrupt or really needed the cash, which would be a really sad thing. I would probably be issuing an apology along with the announcement of the show dates." That's right, White Stripe fans, turn those frowns upside down. From "absolutely no chance" to "if we declare bankruptcy" in one short statement sounds like a chance to me. So, as I've been saying from the start, while we shouldn't wish bankruptcy on the guy, bankruptcy is nevertheless your only chance for a White Stripes reunion. And take it from Lloyd Christmas, as long as there's a chance there's hope.